I don't even know where to begin with .
It had been like what .. almost 6 months since I'd been on this job ? And I haven't update any post this entire time .
I'm currently typing this on my iPad cos things had been going slow lately since it's close to the year end .
Omg I still cannot believe it's Dec already .
Anyway , my job is okay ..... Though a lot of times I still think if I'm meant for greater stuffs . I don't really want to be stuck to this for the rest of my life but I know this looks great on my resume .
I love most of the people here but like any other job , there will always be an asshole that everybody hates ! As much as I WANT to put all the negative shit elsewhere already , it (or he) still continues to haunt me during my office hours . Sighs . Some times I feel like I have it in me to take a knife and stab the asshole repeatedly to vent all my anger and frustration . But it's not gonna happen cos I'm better than that and I am in control .
Okay despite all the shit the fucker continues to do to terrorize my tablemate and I , I'm gonna be an angel and let it all go because it's not worth it .
Then again , if I were to get thrown under the bus a few more times I might just crack . I mean I'm gonna bring out the bitch in me .
Okay past all these , I'd found some really awesome people and I'm thankful for having more good people in my life than people from the evil side .
But eventually , it's about the job . A part of me tells me I NEED to do this but somewhere inside my complicated system of thoughts and feelings , I don't really want to do this ....
All I wanna do is get married and have two adorable kids and live happily ever after - not gonna happen any time soon .
SIGHS .
Everyday is a battle .
Everyday I wish I'm elsewhere doing something else or living someone else's life .
Bad . But I'm only 21 ! I should be doing crazy things , exploring life in a different and more meaningful way . I don't want to rot my life away in a boring office cubicle and just grow fatter sitting on the office chair everyday .
I want to go live in other countries , go for a hiking trip , do a bungee jump or go diving in the deep blue seas and so many other stuffs !
Again , not gonna happen .
Because I'm too afraid to leave my 'comfort' zone and too scared to even think of swimming in the ocean .
Well but I really want to be doing so many other things .
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Okay I just got back from lunch and am in a better mood . Food makes me happy which is the result why I'm so fat . It's always a vicious cycle - unhappy = food = happy = fat = unhappy . Tsk .
I had been wanting to plan for a BBQ probably during XMas eve but I should discuss with the boy first . ( cos he'll be the one doing all the sai gang for me :') lol )
I cannot wait for my trip to langkawi even though it's just Malaysia . I just really need to go somewhere badly .
Okay tadah .
I'll see you ... probably next year :)
